CORKAGE

We’re so hung up on good wine that we’ve neglected to give props to the bad ones. So consider this an ode to the ever-popular Thunderbird.

What does it smell like? If you’ve ever spilled gas on your hands, you know exactly what this 17.5% alcohol fortified wine smells like! The taste? Apples and piss. The effect? As they say, as you drink on, the bird soars higher while you sink lower.

The history of Thunderbird is as interesting as the drunken effects the one experiences from drinking it. In the 1950’s, after Prohibition ended, Ernest Gallo and his brother Julio wanted to corner the young wine market. Ernest wanted the company to become “the Campbell Soup company of the wine industry” so he started selling Thunderbird in the ghettos around the country. Originally a blend of lemonade and Port, at one time this was the best-selling wine in the country! Their radio adds featured a song that went:

What’s the word?
Thunderbird.
How’s it sold?
Good and cold.
What’s the jive?
Bird’s alive.
What’s the price?
Thirty twice.

I suffered so you didn’t have to. You’re welcome.

Drinks are on me.