Michael Lippman

I don't want to "get healthy", I don't want to be conscious.  I don't want to!!!  (That's my two-year-old's favorite sentence right now and I'm right there with you, babe!!!) I want to be irresponsible, unthinking, all-eating, a child.  Yes, I don't want to grow up.  I don't want to take responsibility for my body.  I want to eat whatever I want to eat, drink whatever I want to drink, smoke whatever I want to smoke!  Whaaaaa!!!

I am really kicking and screaming, I am holding on for dear life to NOT having to get serious about my LIFE, i.e. my body, i.e. the whole frickin vehicle that is allowing my soul (the thing I care about!) to have existence here and now and grow and learn and become more enlightened.  I am kicking and screaming!

Other side of the equation: having three jobs (if you don't count the fourth and fifth) and having a marriage and a child is exhausting!  Or I should say, it's demanding.  It's exhausting because I'm not giving a shit about my health.  I need my health and my strength.  And, by the way, what suffers most when I'm not strong and healthy?  It's my time and energy for my kid.  Why?  Because that, of all the "jobs", is the hardest and most demanding. 

A two-year-old has infinite energy, astonishing flexibility, is endlessly changing direction, changing mood, ordering others to do their will, screeching for untold reasons, jumping up and down with such pure joy it blows the adult mind out of its socket, and demanding that I join her in this jumping -- stop! -- go! -- cackling wildly while jumping -- stop!  -- go! -- etc etc etc!!!  Any "job-job" on planet Earth, however "crazy", pales in comparison to the job of BEING THERE with a two year old.  Tell me there is a profounder challenge for an adult!  Tell me.  But I want to BE THERE.  I need to be green man, I need to be a frickin green ass yogi to BE THERE! I need my strength and my health!

That's the flip side of not giving a f-ck.