JENNIFER LIPPMAN

Don’t go to your friend’s house for a play-date if you don’t want your kid to eat M&Ms.   My friend, Priscilla, makes fun of me.  She calls me “strict” about food, and I continue to question why avoiding straight sugar from traveling down my daughter’s gullet is considered strict and not normal and obvious.

Anyway, she makes me laugh because she warns me ahead of time that she’s not going to hide the candy or pretend that she doesn’t bribe her kids with it.  Just as we arrive at her house for swim class, Priscilla is praising her two year old, Nia, for listening to her swim teacher and blowing bubbles under the water.  “Here are your M&Ms, sweetie.  Good job.” 

Thank God my daughter, Daniella, didn’t notice that exchange as she was saying hello to Ethan, Pricilla’s six year old.  The problem is, Ethan did notice.

“Hi, Daniella.  Mom, I want M&Ms if Nia’s getting M&Ms.”  We hadn’t been there three minutes and my daughter learned the name of a new candy.  “I want M&Ms too, mom”, my daughter declared – sure that if Ethan wanted them, they must be worth having.

I glared at Priscilla.  She laughed and said, “I warned you.”

Daniella got a cup with 6 M&Ms.  She lost her mind six times then looked at Ethan’s cup.  “What is that thing?”  “A Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.”  “Mom, I want a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.”  I gave her one.  I have lost a huge amount of control and we’re in minute eight.

Want to hear the world’s loudest guttural shriek of joy?  Give your kid their first six M&Ms followed by their first Reese’s.

She had ice cream for dessert.  With sprinkles.  More candy and dessert in one day than she’d had in her entire life.  I was mildly defeated, but figured what’s one day?  Especially if I end my friendship with Priscilla.

Before she left, Daniella asked for one more Reese’s.  I said no and she started to scream.  I considered caving but stayed strong.  She screamed louder.  More guttural.  Less joyful.  But then she stopped screaming in the car and fell asleep all the way home.

She asked for “those things” for breakfast the next morning and I asked her “What things”, hoping she didn’t mean what I think she meant and if she did, at least she didn’t remember their names. 

“M&Ms and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, mom.”  (Natch)   I told her we don’t eat those for breakfast.  She cried.  She stopped.  She ate her oatmeal.